Recently the term “glass escalator” was introduced to me. According to assistant professor of management Caren Goldberg, “Men that enter female-dominated professions tend to be promoted at faster rates than women in those professions. When you look at senior management, you tend to see men disproportionately represented. So while there may be less than 5% of all nurses who are male, you see a much larger percentage than 5% in senior-level positions like hospital administrators.” Basically women are diligently climbing the stairs as social workers or teachers or HR managers and then there’s this dude next to them checking his phone as he blandly cruises to the top. The concept was brought to my attention by a knitting account I follow on Instagram. The knitter is a guy, and he noticed that he gets extra praise and has gotten followers faster than women who knit better than him and have had their accounts for much longer. It’s similar to the stories about dads who get praised simply by taking his child out in public, while moms are policed for how their children behave or judged if they give them a sucker to calm them down for just one second. Like the grandson who never seems to put on weight no matter how hard Memaw tries, we’re given extra cookies just for showing up.
This is a very specific example but I think it applies to lots of things, so bear with me. Because I volunteer and advocate for a generally female-dominated cause, I get maybe a disproportionate amount of positive attention. And let’s be honest, I love it. It feels good to be told that you’re doing something important and you’re valued for it. I love to hear that I’m good with victims and that I made someone’s hardest moment a little easier. A victim said once that I was the big brother they wish they’d always had and dangit that makes me cry. I’m not telling you not to tell me that I’m awesome (please don’t stop I need it), but I am asking you to make sure that us mediocre dudes aren’t given any extra attention just because we’re men. My wife Kristin has been volunteering as long as I have and has seen some gnarly stuff. Worse, I bet, than anything I’ve experienced. She’s put herself between a homeless rape victim and law-enforcement to make sure that her rights weren’t ignored. She’s sat and cried with abuse victims. She’s spent all night going from hospital to hospital subsisting on nothing but goldfish crackers and warm Mountain Dew and then came home and made bread for the week’s school lunches. Our whole team is just filled with women doing exactly that. They are awesome. We are all awesome.
I’m not calling anybody out and have gone back and forth about posting this at all. Honestly if you're reading this and thinking I'm talking about you, I can guarantee based on the privacy restrictions for this post that I am not. This isn’t to make anyone feel guilty for making me feel good about myself because my goodness that’s something that I really struggle with and I’m so glad for people’s kind words. I just think it’s worth the reminder that praise is not a limited resource. You can heap it on me all day long (and should!) and have just as large of a pile of the stuff left over to just bury with good feelings the woman next to me who is right there on every single call and often does more heavy lifting than I do because (surprise) sometimes victims would just as soon not have a man there while they undergo an invasive procedure. Some of these women are survivors themselves and they've put themselves in that room again with someone else and I can't imagine anything braver. Let 'em know.
The Glass Escalator of Volunteerism
The Glass Escalator of Volunteerism
The Glass Escalator of Volunteerism
Recently the term “glass escalator” was introduced to me. According to assistant professor of management Caren Goldberg, “Men that enter female-dominated professions tend to be promoted at faster rates than women in those professions. When you look at senior management, you tend to see men disproportionately represented. So while there may be less than 5% of all nurses who are male, you see a much larger percentage than 5% in senior-level positions like hospital administrators.” Basically women are diligently climbing the stairs as social workers or teachers or HR managers and then there’s this dude next to them checking his phone as he blandly cruises to the top. The concept was brought to my attention by a knitting account I follow on Instagram. The knitter is a guy, and he noticed that he gets extra praise and has gotten followers faster than women who knit better than him and have had their accounts for much longer. It’s similar to the stories about dads who get praised simply by taking his child out in public, while moms are policed for how their children behave or judged if they give them a sucker to calm them down for just one second. Like the grandson who never seems to put on weight no matter how hard Memaw tries, we’re given extra cookies just for showing up.
This is a very specific example but I think it applies to lots of things, so bear with me. Because I volunteer and advocate for a generally female-dominated cause, I get maybe a disproportionate amount of positive attention. And let’s be honest, I love it. It feels good to be told that you’re doing something important and you’re valued for it. I love to hear that I’m good with victims and that I made someone’s hardest moment a little easier. A victim said once that I was the big brother they wish they’d always had and dangit that makes me cry. I’m not telling you not to tell me that I’m awesome (please don’t stop I need it), but I am asking you to make sure that us mediocre dudes aren’t given any extra attention just because we’re men. My wife Kristin has been volunteering as long as I have and has seen some gnarly stuff. Worse, I bet, than anything I’ve experienced. She’s put herself between a homeless rape victim and law-enforcement to make sure that her rights weren’t ignored. She’s sat and cried with abuse victims. She’s spent all night going from hospital to hospital subsisting on nothing but goldfish crackers and warm Mountain Dew and then came home and made bread for the week’s school lunches. Our whole team is just filled with women doing exactly that. They are awesome. We are all awesome.
I’m not calling anybody out and have gone back and forth about posting this at all. Honestly if you're reading this and thinking I'm talking about you, I can guarantee based on the privacy restrictions for this post that I am not. This isn’t to make anyone feel guilty for making me feel good about myself because my goodness that’s something that I really struggle with and I’m so glad for people’s kind words. I just think it’s worth the reminder that praise is not a limited resource. You can heap it on me all day long (and should!) and have just as large of a pile of the stuff left over to just bury with good feelings the woman next to me who is right there on every single call and often does more heavy lifting than I do because (surprise) sometimes victims would just as soon not have a man there while they undergo an invasive procedure. Some of these women are survivors themselves and they've put themselves in that room again with someone else and I can't imagine anything braver. Let 'em know.